What Is Sex Addiction?
Sex addiction is characterized by compulsive sexual thoughts and activities that a person continues to engage in regardless of the negative consequences.
Many of us have seen addiction in action enough to know its disastrous effects on dreams, families, goals, health, and spirituality
Likes a little porn, so do you. Probably wasn’t exactly single when you met. Doesn’t care how many partners you’ve had; it’s all in the past. Identifying the addict is the first step. And when it comes to sex addiction, the ball game is different.
The list of behaviors associated with a sexual addict is really common, practically anyone can tick off at least a couple.
Consistent use of pornography.
Unsafe sex.
Phone or chat-room sex.
One-night stands.
extra-marital affairs.
obsessive online dating.
The list is long and gets darker the further down you go: compulsive masturbation, exhibitionism, voyeurism, prostitutes.
"Sex addicts can't stand the thought of abstinence"
For married persons, your sexual behavior may be defined differently than if you’re single,”
I can bet you a sex addict hasn’t spent adult life alone, goes from one relationship to the next, often with a history of cheating *winks*.
Compulsive sexual behavior, the clinical phrase for sex addiction, is what experts call a "progressive intimacy disorder," meaning that it worsens the longer it's left untreated. However, this does not mean every addict eventually transforms into a sex offender.
it’s like any addiction, and the addict increasingly needs to have this intensity-based experience and results from previous experience.
However, the idea that sex is clinically addictive remains controversial. Sex addiction is not recognized by the American Psychiatric Association as a diagnosable disorder. It made an appearance in the 1987 version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), but has subsequently been removed. While many comparisons have been made to drug addiction.
The number of reported sex addicts varies widely, anywhere from nine to 15 million adults in the U.S., or three to five percent of the population certainly the number of people affected goes well beyond the number of addicts.
Signs you might be dating a sex addict:
1. Consistently flaking out and running late. Sex addicts lose time to their addiction, becoming preoccupied with thoughts of sex and sexual material, and how to seek both out. Everything else comes second.
2. Financial fishiness. Prostitutes don’t take credit cards and fetish shops rarely advertise their businesses on sales receipts. Random, unexplained charges show up. Or he cashed his check and can’t explain where the money went.
3. Never over their childhood. Still talking about daddy issues? probably has teacher issues. Addicts feel shameful about their sexual behavior but they are never really shameful.
4. Unsafe sex. If a dude wants to slip it in without slipping it on, that’s a bad sign. He might not love you enough yet, but he should love himself enough. If he won’t, you can bet it’s not a first, and this could be just the tip of his thrill seeking when it comes to sex. Be wary when a potential partner is unwilling to delay sexual gratification in favor of the getting acquainted stage of a relationship.
5. Serial dating. He/she hasn’t spent any time in his adult life alone. He goes from one relationship to the next, often with a history of cheating or been cheated on.
6. Lying. excuses are inconsistent with the facts althou they have got a bucket load of them, never take responsibility or even own up to a clear scenario. Many sex addicts lead a double life.
7. You’re questioning whether you’re dating a sex addict. Why are you asking? Are you prone to catastrophize situations or are you genuinely concerned that he’s given himself a blister due to excess masturbation? Again. No matter what the reason, if you’re uncomfortable with your partner’s sexual preferences, there’s no reason to withstand them. If you are dealing with an addict, eventually the lack of trust will erode intimacy, and the relationship will be compromised.
8. Commitment shyness isn't a questionable trait sex addicts enjoy the natural feeling of sex and also don't want the result of sex the are continuously onto the next on and on the look out on how to move to the next once they feel you clingy or having more talks of the future.
What Are The Causes Of Sex Addiction?
The causes of sex addiction are a result of a person’s unique biology, psychology, and upbringing. Often, sex addicts experienced some sort of trauma during their formative years, making it hard for them to form lasting interpersonal relationships. To this type of addict, sexual activity is simply a coping mechanism, a way to distract themselves from their inner demons. If you believe that someone you love is a sex addict, know that their addiction is likely as painful to them as it is to you.
Knowing What’s Right For You
Deciding whether or not to pursue a relationship with a sex addict requires immense personal reflection. Start by evaluating your own motivations for staying in the relationship. Addicts often attract partners with codependent personalities. People with codependency issues will overlook the pain their partners cause them out of fear of losing them. No one should stay in an unhealthy relationship because they fear being alone. Only you and your partner can decide whether or not to stay together, but making the best decision for your own wellbeing requires you to be truly honest with yourself.
Consider joining a support group for people in relationships with sex addicts. Sharing your experiences with a group is a powerful way to escape the shame and isolation you may feel regarding your relationship, and it provides an opportunity to hear the stories of others. Very often just speaking your inner conflicts and concerns out loud is all it takes for the right answer to jump out at you.
If upon deep reflection you decide that your relationship is worth repairing, the next step is perusing couple’s therapy. It may take a long time to forgive your partner for their past mistakes, but know that if they are will to do the work, recovery from sex addiction is possible.
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